Dorothy Edith Scallen

Dorothy Edith Scallen (nee Coates) Eulogy
Now when the sun says good day to the mountains And the night says hello to the dawn I'm alone with my dreams on the hilltop And I can still hear her voice though she's gone From the French Song by Lucille Star Mom loved The French Song. And though I've chosen an English verse to share with you, Mom sang the song in both French and English, true to the original. As Mom dealt with the indignities of dementia, this song, to the end, was a tender emotional balm for her. Hearing it on her playlist Mom would always sing along. I'd pause to listen. To smile, once again, as Mom sang, every word, every syllable, perfectly. Mom's sweet voice drifting through the rooms of the home she loved. Dorothy Scallen, born Dorothy Coates, grew up in Montreal and lived there through the Depression and World War Two. Her mother was Victoria Coates and her father was Robert Coates, who built steam engines at CPR's Angus Shop. Mom had three older siblings, her sister Mildred and her brothers Bob and Dudley.
Mom made friends easily and her friendships endured. One lifelong bond was forged with May Watkins (nee Hassel) who mom met in elementary school. Until May's death in 2011. Mom and May would speak every week, an enduring conversation that supported the two friends for over eighty years. May's daughter Arlene, who Mom also thought the world of, was able to see her just prior to her passing.
In the 1950's Mom married and eventually had three sons: David, Donald and Dean. The family located to Georgetown Ontario in 1962, where Mom put down permanent roots. In the late 60's she found secretarial work with the Peel Board of Education and spent much of her career as office manager for various Peel Board superintendents. As was Mom's habit, she nurtured long-lasting friendships with many of the people she met at the Peel Board, especially during her cherished days at a homey little office in Snelgrove. One of those friends was Marian Fry. The two became sisters in spirit and spoke to each other every day - sometimes several times each day - for decades.
As a single parent from the late sixties on, Mom provided materially for her three sons but more importantly, supported them with steadfast love that helped her boys endure profound challenges in their youth. Mom was outraged at a suggestion by social workers that she give up one, or even all three boys, to ease her financial burden. No one was going to take her boys from her. She would do whatever it took to care for them. And, of course, she did. The success of David, Donald and Dean - all became educators - simply would not have happened without her support. Mom loved to dance. One of her sorrows later in life was not being able to cut a rug due to her physical challenges. When she heard a song with a good beat - Elvis or Jerry Lee Lewis - every fiber of her being would cry out to move, to find joy once again on the dancefloor.
Mom took care of her appearance carefully, every day until the end. An hour in the washroom in the morning, applying makeup and combing hair was a crucial part of her daily routine. She had a long-lasting friendship with her hairdresser, Alfredo (Fred) Furgiuele. Every two weeks for four decades Mom would have her hair styled by Fred. Long after Fred retired from work at his salon, he visited Mom in her home to do her hair. Fred teased Mom about her hair, as he pretended to muss it up. His visits, filled with care and humour, were much anticipated.
Mom loved her only grandchild, Alexa, who is now 15. Alexa is graced with fine parents, her mother Ann Scallen and my brother Dean. Ann and Dean have raised Alexa with love, forbearance and commitment, qualities that Mom modeled for all of us.
In closing, I'll tweak The French Song a little:
Now when the sun says good day to the mountains And the night says hello to the dawn We're alone with our dreams on the hilltop And we can still hear mom's voice though she's gone
Don Scallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35WLFvVL2Sg&list=RD35WLFvVL2Sg&index=1
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